


someone i forgot to be

by skyestiel



Series: this vld canon could use a little more... [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Gay Character, Canon Gay Relationship, Discussion on sexuality, Gay Shiro (Voltron), Gen, I CAN'T STOP GRINNING, M/M, Post-Season/Series 06, SDCC spoilers, gay shiro is canon!!, i'm so happy i can include all of those tags, shiro is an amazing role model
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-13 17:33:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15369717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyestiel/pseuds/skyestiel
Summary: “I wanted to tell hi—themhow much I worried about them.” Shiro pauses, gaze wandering to some point in the distance. “But I had trouble admitting it to myself. And to them.”“Why?”“Let's just say that… although it shouldn't be an issue anymore, it is.” Shiro returns his attention to Lance. Staring straight into his eyes with staggering intensity.or: Shiro helps Lance confront puzzling emotions with reassurance and stories of the past.NOW WITH BEAUTIFUL COMPANION ART!!





	someone i forgot to be

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY SO THIS IS INCREDIBLY IMPULSIVE and i'm only a little sorry. it's been a while since i posted something here but after the good news from sdcc, i had to. this is actually an expansion of [one of my julance ficlets](https://twitter.com/tobiologist/status/1018209438577152002)!! i wanted to go more in-depth into shiro realizing his sexuality and reassuring lance (as lance's hero) that he's an incredible person regardless of who he loves. also the title is from the song ["freedom" by george michael](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diYAc7gB-0A)!!!
> 
>  
> 
> **update: one of my absolute favorite human beings sketched a comic of this fic and i owe casey my life!!![please go check it out and show it some love!!!](https://twitter.com/kevinkevinsonnn/status/1021131193608294400)**
> 
>  
> 
> hope everyone enjoys!!

Lance is conflicted, to say the least.

 

Emotions are a pain, okay. And after eighteen years of living with them, Lance has just about had enough.

 

But it's not that easy, huh?

 

There's no magical spell to get rid of them or medical procedure. No scientific feat or android bodies available.

 

It's especially difficult to deal with said feelings when you're trapped in the cockpit of a sentient robotic lion with the previous black paladin. You know, standing at your back and watching you pilot. Tall and admittedly imposing due to his size. He's Shiro, though, so of course he's politely silent.

 

Completely oblivious of Lance's inner turmoil.

 

He can't stop thinking about what happened when they entered the Garrison yesterday. It's been a while since they last had contact with the academy or— other than Sam and Matt— anyone from Earth. Most students are either senior officers by now or in their last year of the cadet program. The trip home had taken longer than anticipated since the team no longer had the castleship or ability to travel by wormhole.

Even so, classmates remembered them.

 

Lance, of course, made a few casual friends during his time at the Galaxy Garrison. They greeted him with tight hugs and fist bumps. With cries of, “You're still alive?” Which Lance tried not to dwell on much. It led to thoughts of his family and whether they knew he was alive and—yeah, totally dangerous train of thought.

 

But what he hadn't anticipated is anyone making all over Keith.

 

Not because Keith wasn’t _ cool  _ or anything. Up until he punched Iverson, most classmates admired him or at least paid him enough attention because they were envious. Plenty of students hated the attention Keith received for his piloting, especially James. The kid constantly made nasty comments at Keith’s expense, instigating him at every turn. When Lance heard Keith punched the guy, he couldn’t say he blamed him. He wanted to do the same every time he sneered in Keith’s direction.

 

But, no, Lance’s confusion has more to do with the fact Keith didn't go out of his way to befriend anyone.

 

Or at least Lance had thought.

 

“Why don't you land over there?” Shiro suddenly speaks up, effectively silencing the voice inside Lance's head. “We won't have to walk as far to move everything.”

 

“Oh, um, sure,” Lance stumbles over his words. “Sounds good.”

 

This is one of many supply runs Lance has been on. Plenty of tools and materials are required for the construction of a giant spaceship— go figure.

 

As suggested, Lance lands the red lion near the numerous stack of boxes, metal bars, and pipes. The two step out, dressed in full paladin garb minus their helmets. Quietly, they begin to gather supplies and move them over to the waiting entrance ramp. Things between Shiro and Lance have been somewhat… awkward since the clone issue was resolved. Plus, out of everyone on the team, Lance has spent the least amount of alone time with Shiro.

 

Toss in the fact Lance’s brain is flooded with thoughts of an old classmate incessantly praising Keith and, well, Lance's body decides to betray him.

 

Every time he scoops up a box or bundle of bars, maybe a tool box, it goes clattering to the ground. It's the worst case of butter-fingers he's experienced in ages. As if he's forgotten how to do simple actions like _hold_ things. Absolutely ridiculous.

 

After the fourth set of pipes tumbles out of Lance's arms, Shiro breaks the silence. “Lance, something is bothering you. Isn't it?”

 

The wording suggests a question, but Shiro's tone certainly doesn't. His lips are set in a concerned line. Genuine worry in the furrow of his brow. 

 

“I…” Lance hesitates. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to discuss this with Shiro? If he doesn’t, Lance isn't sure how long he'll last. It's starting to feel like the situation will haunt Lance. Gradually eat him alive. “Okay, so. I have a hypothetical scenario to run by you. For, uh, a friend of mine.”

 

Shiro carefully sets down the box he'd been holding and leans against it. His posture is open and inviting, coupled with a soft, knowing smile. Lance finds himself  _ wanting  _ to confess his darkest secrets.  _ This dude really is too powerful. _

 

“Alright,” Shiro chuckles. “Go ahead.”

 

“Well… this friend. He has another friend.  And one time, he had to watch someone hit on them.” That's what it seemed like, by the way. Another member of the pilot program excitedly chatting to Keith with stars in his eyes. Even the memory has Lance shifting anxiously on his feet. “And my friend is… worried about them.” 

 

“Worried?”

 

“Yeah, yeah, like. His friend has been through a lot recently, and he's just concerned they'll get involved with the wrong people and get hurt again.”

 

Shiro tips his head to the side. “I see.”

 

“And, I just,” Lance rambles, unable to stop now that he's started. “My friend doesn't know what to do. He's had other friends before but this… this one is different. Maybe that's because his friend is  _ different _ , I guess. Tough, smart, brave. Stubborn as can be. But loyal and honest and  _ quiznak.  _ I don't know. I just feel like Keith—” Lance's voice catches.

 

_ Oh no.  _

 

_ Oh no no  _ no.

 

“He feels like his friend,” he hurriedly corrects. “Deserves better than what life's given them.”

 

Shiro's eyes widen the slightest bit, and Lance steels himself. He can't believe he slipped up like that! Now Shiro knows. The person who raised Keith, who took care of him for years, probably saw him through all major life events, _knows_.

 

A moment of heavy silence falls over them. Lance feels like he may be sick. Like he'd rather melt into a puddle on the ground than deal with the mess he's created. 

 

“You know,” Shiro eventually says with a sigh. “I had a friend at the Garrison. And I felt the same way about them as your friend seems to feel about  _ his _ friend. We went through the pilot program together for several years until we became senior officers. And, even then, we managed to stick together. Through the good times and the bad.”

 

Lance swallows down the nervous lump in his throat and listens. 

 

“I wanted to tell hi—  _ them _ how much I worried about them.” Shiro pauses, gaze wandering to some point in the distance. “But I had trouble admitting it to myself. And to them.”

 

“Why?” 

 

“Let's just say that… although it shouldn't be an issue anymore, it is.” Shiro returns his attention to Lance. Staring straight into his eyes with staggering intensity. 

 

And something happens. 

 

A moment of silent communication. Like they've reached an understanding without explicitly stating their shared problem. And Lance— his chest swells with some new, unspeakable emotion. Contentment? Or possibly relief? A heady combination of the two that has him slumping on the nearest box before his legs give out. 

 

Shiro laughs appreciatively and shakes his head. “Careful, Lance.”

 

Lance doesn't know what to say. There are hundreds of possibilities bouncing around inside his skull. And yet none feel adequate. He considers hugging Shiro, but his legs refuse to move or obey his commands.  _ Get up! Do something! _

 

“And—And how did things work out for you? Did you ever tell… them?” Lance leans expectantly closer. 

 

“Well, eventually I worked up the courage to tell them how I felt.” Shiro’s entire face softens, clearly reminiscing about his friend. More than friend? “It wasn’t easy. Once I admitted it to myself, the issue of telling them seemed simpler.”

 

“Oh,” Lance blurts, grappling for the right words. “Why’s that?”

 

“Because I knew that, no matter what, they cared about me. Regardless of how they felt, I knew we’d sort things out and move on.” Shiro chuckles. “Of course, I hoped they felt the same. But the situation wasn’t exactly… without its complications.”

 

This—this is Lance’s hero talking. A man who obviously cares about the team and, for years, has inspired Lance to be a better pilot and person. Long before Voltron. Hearing the words out of Shiro’s mouth seems to lift an unseen weight off Lance’s shoulders. With every word Shiro speaks, Lance finds himself feeling a bit lighter.  _ Free _ .

 

“And everything worked out?” Desperation clings to Lance’s question. He needs the answer more than he could’ve ever imagined. “You were—you both were happy?”

 

Shiro averts his gaze to the nearest stack of boxes. “Yes. We were very happy together.” A smile plays at Shiro’s lips. “As a matter of fact, a few months before the Kerberos mission, I thought Adam was going to propose.” 

 

_ Adam _ .

 

Uttering the name appears to completely change Shiro’s demeanor. It’s like he’s been presented with paradise itself. The smile is now unmistakable. It stretches wide and unashamed across his face, adorably toothy. Bursting with pride. Lance has never seen  _ this  _ look before. Even at his happiest, Shiro hasn’t shined the way he does in this moment.

 

Lance’s voice catches in his throat. Everything is out in the open now. There’s no question as to whether they’re on the same page or whether Shiro relates to Lance’s current…  _ predicament _ . Lance can’t stop remembering the tone of Shiro’s voice when he said Adam’s name. Achingly fond. Adoring. And absolutely proud to say he loves Adam. 

 

Again, Lance is speechless. He fixes Shiro with a grin. There's no controlling it, really, or the telltale prickling of tears behind his eyes. Barely kept from trickling down his cheeks. 

 

Lance tries— and likely fails— to steady his voice before responding. Cheeks warm and smile wide, lighting him from the inside like a bonfire within his soul.

 

“Thank you.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> and lance had many more opportunities to bond with shiro and developed the courage to tell keith how he feels. thanks for coming to my ted talk  
> but seriously thank you SO much for taking the time to read this!! your love and support is always appreciated!! come cry with me on twitter and tumblr @tobiologist


End file.
